My Immortal ~ 17I've been alone all along
I like it, the light breeze on my hands as I walked along the street with my heavy jacket on.
I was making my way to Niall's house, where I know the boys were.
I know that Harry and i are not on good terms right now, but I want to make it up to him.
"Lou, Please.", Harry whimpered. I scoffed rolling my eyes.
"Why should I fucking say yes to you! You broke my heart!", I shouted, the boys leaving the room.
"Louis, I want to fix you!", He cried. I rolled my eyes, stepping past him.
"Goodbye, harry", I whispered, slamming the door behind me.
I havn't talked to any of the boys since then. It hurt me a lot.
The way that they were once behind my back, and now they were behind Harry's.
We both made mistakes, and it was time to own up to them.
I wanted harry.
I made it up the steps of his house, knocking on the door. Niall opened the door, not looking my way. He looked over, and his smile faded a
My Immortal ~ 16But though you're still with me
I can't make this better, there is no way i can.
No one will talk to me, and I feel more lonely than I did before.
I just want everyone to come back, and I want to see the light!
I want to get better.
I threw everything away, m razors are away, and I know, I will never touch them again.
He made me see a light I never thought I could see, and I was ready to thank him, for everything.
Except, he won't talk to me, I was done.
I can't change the fact that he hates me, there was nothing I can do about that.
What can I do?
~ Louis Tomlinson
My Immortal ~ 15I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
I am such a horrible person, and I mean it this time.
How could I have done that to him!?
Yeah, he hurt me, but I probably hurt him way worst.
He did make me cry, but he cried to.
The whole band hates me, and I can't do anything about it.
The thing is, he hates me, I hate him.
I don't have to worry about him anymore!
Still, a part of me wants him. I want to hold him, kiss him, sleep with him.
Why did I do that!?
Fuck, Louis. Get it together, and say yes to this man!
~ Louis Tomlinson
My Immortal ~ 14And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me...
Harry was hesitant to leave, but I agreed that he could see me again.
I would need to see him again.
I ran upstairs after he left, claiming the only reason he was leaving so he could finish off his divorce with his 'wife'.
Or he just remembered the reason why he really left me in the first place.
I walked into my room, looking over everything that Harry has touched in the past six days.
My mind was still on the question on why he came back. yeah, sure. He apologized, but did he ever think I wouldn't go back?
Did he just think he could sweep me off my feet and claim me again? Hell no!
I was no ones, forever.
I have a fear of getting my heart broken. I don't want it happening again.
It feels like your soul is getting ripped out, and stomped on by a foot. It feels like you are getting ripped into tiny little pieces all over the floor.
I don't want him,
My Immortal ~ 13When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
Harry wont stop, and I'm fucking done.
He keeps on pampering me, and I just envy him.
He needs to catch a hint. I don't want him here.
Harry took me out the other day, with Niall. Since there is snow outside, he took us to the park. The pure white snow catching in his eyelashes that framed his eyes. Those bright green eyes that I fell for the moment I saw him.
Harry is the only person who can make me feel this way, and sometimes, I want to thank him for it.
The other part, wants to gut him like a fish.
Harry means a lot to me, I will give him that. But he hurt me! That's a lot to take in.
Harry doesn't realize that what he did was worse than breaking up with someone. He left me there, stranded, without anyone's comfort.
I remember that night so perfectly, and I could cry just thinking about it.
" Louis, can we talk, please?", Harry said, hugging me from behind. I melted into his touch. Harry removed his arms from
My Immortal ~ 12When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
I am having mixed feelings about this.
Its been a few days since I have done anything to my body, and the reason is because of Harry.
I didn't tell him anything, but he knew. He could just tell.
I hate how he can read me like a book, it gets me so furious when he tells me things before I can even cope with my feelings.
He was a part of me I could let go, and no matter how hard I would try, it just couldn't work. No matter what, he wont leave.
I've told him to leave many times, but its so hard.
Its like I don't want him to leave...
That's not possible, is it?
I hate how he thinks he can kiss me, hold me, sleep with me, when I tell him not to, he just wont stop...
I don't want him to though.
You know what? This is why I hate him. He has all my feelings, and he locked them in a jar, and now all I have is mixed emotions about him, and I fucking hate it.
He needs to leave, but how?
~ Louis Tomlinson
My Immortal ~ 11This pain is just too real
I don't know how to explain my feelings for harry. One moment I am so fucking pissed at him, I don't eve know what to do, and other times, I just wanted to fall in his arms and just hide.
I know both can't happen, I was full of Love and hate.
Its either I have a healthy relationship with Harry, or I can never talk to him again. My brain says Yes, leave. But my heart says stay. You need this.
I just want to crawl up in a ball, and not let anyone touch me. I'm fucking done with the bullshit in my life, and its full of crap.
Harry is helping, but it wont be good enough. He made me this way.
Why did he fucking have to leave?
Because he is stupid and selfish.
This is my day. My mind fighting with me and it hurts. I can't go a day without thinking of the boy, especially because he is watching me from the other side of the living space, sipping on one of my infamous tea
My Immortal ~ 10These wounds won't seem to heal
I looked over to see what time it was. '3.56'
I shifted over to see who was around me, and I was startled to see Harry's body behind me, smiling.
I got out of his grip, jumping out of the bed quick. harry stirred, but didn't wake up. I sighed in relief, making my way down the steps of my home. I was upset to see that the boys have left, leaving me alone with him.
I sighed, settling myself in the kitchen. I grabbed my mug, making myself a cup of tea when he came in.
"Good morning beautiful", he smiled, going to my side, I frowned, remembering how much I missed that.
"Don't call me that", I muttered, moving away from him a bit.
"Louis, please. hear me out!", he begged. I rolled my eyes, grabbing my finished tea and made my way into my living room, that was messy from last night. I turned around to look at him, and oh so how much I wanted to fall into his arms.
"Harry, I don't care. You hurt me! How about y
My Immortal ~ 9Your face—it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice—it chased away all the sanity in me
I waited for an answer, but nothing came.
It was like he was trying to think, but he had no reason on why he left.
"I don't know Louis" is all he said. I gritted my teeth, rolling my eyes.
"There has to be a reason you left! How one just leaves someone for no reason!", I yelled.
Harry sighed, looking down at the floor. "I was afraid."
I could feel my jaw drop. My eyebrows furrowed inwards, scoffing. "You were afraid? and so you decided to leave me, to make yourself better?! Don't you know you hurt me! I waited for you, and you never came back! I waited and I wanted you for so long, but now I can't have you. You have a perfect life going on, with a beautiful wife, four boys who love you-" I was interrupted by Harry's hand over my mouth, a angry expression written on his face.
"I don't love her, I love you!", he yelled, but his face softened when he rea